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On occasion, Jay Spring feels he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments often turn “really delusional”, he admits. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘People will see that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these times of heightened ego are typically succeeded by a “sudden low”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his actions, making him particularly vulnerable to disapproval from others. He first suspected he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms through digital sources – and subsequently diagnosed by a professional. Yet, he doubts he would have agreed with the assessment without having independently formed that understanding personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they feel feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they made for themselves. And in that mindset, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying The Condition

While people have been labelled as narcissists for decades, definitions vary what the term implies the label. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” explains a psychology professor, who believes the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he suggests many people hide it, because of significant negative perception linked to the disorder. A narcissist will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like displaying material goods,” the professor says. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in NPD Presentation

Although three-quarters of people diagnosed with NPD are men, studies points out this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that women with NPD is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” says an individual who posts about her co-occurring conditions on online channels. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with handling criticism and being turned down,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I often enter self-protection or I completely shut down.” Although experiencing this response – which is sometimes referred to as “self-esteem damage”, she has been working to manage it and accept input from her close relationships, as she strives not to return into the damaging patterns of her earlier years. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners in my youth,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she says she and her current boyfriend “maintain an agreement where I told him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mainly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples in her youth. I’ve had to teach myself all this time the difference between and is not appropriate to say when arguing because I never had that growing up,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were belittling me during my childhood.”

Root Causes of NPD

Personality disorders tend to be associated with childhood challenges. Heredity is a factor,” notes a mental health specialist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “linked to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to manage during childhood”, he continues, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

In common with many of the NPD-diagnosed people, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The adult explains when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve good grades and life achievements, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “worthy.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, struggles with emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he explains – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

After a visit to his doctor, John was referred to a therapist for an diagnosis and was told his diagnosis. He has been referred for therapeutic sessions on the public health system (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: It was indicated it is likely to occur early next year.”

John has only told a small circle about his NPD diagnosis, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, personally, he has accepted it. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he explains. Those interviewed have come to terms with NPD and are pursuing treatment for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the diagnosis. But the growth of online advocates and the expansion of digital groups suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number